You adore your fiancé and believe in your “happily-ever-after.” Nevertheless, you understand that if something goes awry along the way, a prenup will save both of you a lot of heartaches and headaches.
However, your spouse-to-be may resist thinking about awful what-ifs like divorce and find it worrisome that you’re even considering it a possibility. If you’re having trouble getting your partner to sign a prenuptial agreement, use these seven tips to convince them without ruining the relationship.
- Tell your fiancé that communication is key in healthy relationships — and that you need your beloved to hear you out.
Kindly remind your partner that it’s essential to be able to openly discuss the most difficult topics together. Being able to work through rough patches has made your union stronger, so assure your partner that it’ll be no different when you talk about getting a prenup.
2.Heed their concerns.
After explaining your reasoning, it’s important to listen to your fiancé’s opinion without interruption. Although you may not agree with their perspective, try to see the logic behind their worries and what you could do to help relieve them. For example, if they think a prenup means inevitable divorce, try showing how it can be seen as an act of love and commitment instead.
3. Agree to discuss the issue at a specific time and place.
Have the conversation in a pleasant location and choose a time when you know neither of you will be interrupted, hurried, or under significant stress. Pick a date at least several months before the wedding and long after any other significant emotional occasion, such as a funeral.
4. Plan ahead on what you want to say.
Ahead of time, think about why you would like a prenup and how you can communicate this to your partner in a gentle and loving way.Since it’s probable that your fiancé will object, try to figure out what you can do to show them your continued faith and trust in the relationship during the conversation.
5. Be honest and clear in explaining what’s led you to believe that having a prenup is the best for your relationship.
When you’re both ready to discuss it, explain your reasons for wanting a prenup with transparency and understanding. If you share why the idea of a prenup came about for you—like how your parents’ divorce ruined your teenage years—your fiancé might be more receptive to the conversation. Of course, do assure your loved one that you’re sincerely hoping for a successful marriage that’ll stand the test of time, and that a prenup for marriage is merely like fire insurance for your home. Both are things you hope to never have to use but are glad are there just in case.
6. Show how a prenuptial agreement benefits the both of you
While building a life together, spouses may end up having unequal incomes. For instance, one partner might have to quit their job to take care of the children. Prenups can help resolve financial conflict early on in marriages by laying out who is responsible for which bills and other costs of living. Clauses like these establish some stability and bring peace of mind to both partners about their joint expenses. In addition, assure your partner that the prenuptial agreement may be renegotiated when circumstances in the marriage change.
Also explain that in the unlikely event that you get divorced, a prenup can help prevent the lesser earning partner from suffering financial destition by letting them have equitable spousal support. The higher earning partner is also protected by not having their wealth split in the middle by default.
7. Collaborate on the prenup.
Emphasize to your spouse that the prenup isn’t something you’d craft on your own and then offer them a pen to sign—you two will collaboratively negotiate the terms of the prenup. Encourage them to consult with family law attorneys or a mediator before you both finish up the details. Make sure they realize that you’re not attempting to push them into anything, but rather arriving at a mutual agreement, just like getting married.